#2184
Part 2: To the rescue
Date: 05/17/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
...or: Friday Ad Nauseam...
Evil Mike: Well, here's your problem, Lita. You have the hologram on Deathstalker/Dawn setting.
Lita: Oh. Well, fix it.
Evil Mike: Oh yeah....I should...do that...
(Lita elbows Evil Mike)
Lita: Give me that! (Fixes the hologram)
Holo-Mickey: Hey, why are my pants down? Nevermind. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I invented pants?
(Everyone groans)
Tork: Shut him up! We don't need another flashback story in this arc!!!
Lita: OK, so there's still a few bugs
Evil Mike: No, It's exactly like Mickey. You captured his personality perfectly.
Gramps: That was the problem.
(Holo Mickey is rambling on, but no one's listening)
Lita: Oh yeah, Rimmi? How'd that thing with Warren go?
Rimmi: Oh good. I killed him. I...
(EDITED FOR CONTENT)
GROPE and Guests of GROPE: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!11!!!!!
Rimmi: I do miss him though.
Gramps: Let's just watch tv. Murder She Wrote's on, that Angela Lansbury is
(EDITED FOR CONTENT)
GROPE and Guests of GROPE: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!11!!
(Lita turns on the tv)
STG: Hell-o? Mickey?
Lita: I'm thinking! I think better with the tv on.
Announcer: Welcome to the Antiques Traveling Roadshow Show!
STG: He said show twice
Lita: Shutup, you're making me lose my concentration
Announcer: Today, we're in Pasadena appraising people's worthless crap. And here's a nice couple now. Step up to the mike and say hi. (A few seconds pass) What? Oh....(Lowers the mike)
Lita: It's Schmoe and wurwolf!
Tork: Who gave them their own show?
Gramps: Probably an episode of Cops.
wurwolf: Hi, I'm wurwolf and this is Schmoe.
Schmoe: Hello.
Announcer: And what do you got for us?
Schmoe: It's a ******* talking cow.
(Audience gasps)
Announcer: (Quietly to Schmoe and wurwolf) Watch your mouths okay?
wurwolf: No problem. Anyway, we were wondering what this piece of **** was worth.
Schmoe: Hey! He said watch your ******* mouth!
wurwolf: Well, why don't you watch your ****** mouth? I never swore before I met you!
Schmoe: You go to hell.
Audience: Glug, glug, glug.
Gramps: All right! A domestic dispute!
(Lita turns the tv off)
Gramps: Awwwww.....
Lita: Alright. Jimmy and Cara, you two go to Pasadena and get the Cow.
Tork: Why?
Lita: Because they're the most expendable.
Tork: No, I mean why do we need the Cow back?
Lita: Because I said so. Now, I suggest we go over to MSTBlanca and see what's up. It's clearly obvious that PM is behind this.
42: May I remind you that that's what you said last time Mickey was kidnapped?
Lita: No, you may not.
STG: What about me and my faithful companions?
AFLAC: Ewwwww...stay away from me!
Squecky: Yeah...me too.
Cara: Me three!
Lita: Well....you three can go, um....you can go check out Mickey's favorite hang outs! Yeah, you can go to the soup...restaraunts, because there's plenty of those....right? Right. You can do that.
STG: Yes ma'am!!! Let's go guys! (STG, Squecky, and AFLAC leave)
Jimmy: That wasn't nice.
Lita: Oh...you still here?
Jimmy: Mickey was clearly kidnapped. Why would kidnappers take him to a place that Mickey wants to go to?
Lita: Just go, okay?
Jimmy: Fine! (Jimmy and Cara leave)
Rimmi: (Grabs her sword) Alright, let's go! PM's going to be Warrenized if he doesn't give Mickey back!
Lita: Oh? You're going to get Mickey? Good. We're out of bread, too.
(Lita turns the tv back on)
Schmoe: I'm outraged! Hmph!!!!11!!!!!!!!
Lita: Heh. I love this show.
Rimmi: (Turns the tv off) Let's go!!!!
Lita: OK, ok!!! Don't poin that thing at me. Geez....
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Yeah.
#2185
<checks her script>
Date: 05/17/2002
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
<The cast sits around during a downtime, all wearing robes and drinking various types of gourmet coffees.>
Rimmi: Mickey, dear, I think your script has a misprint.
Mickey: No, it's supposed to say poin-
Rimmi: No, Mickey. It's the part about Warren. In my script it says I didn't kill him. In my script it says I'm still chasing him down.
Mickey: Well my script is the lilac one.
Rimmi: So?
Mickey: That means mine is the rewrite. Yours is canary which means it's the original. Mine is the updated version.
Rimmi: I thought cherry was the rewrite.
Lita: Pardon me, couldn't help but overhearing. I thought cyan was the rewrite.
EM: Nope, that's beige.
Rimmi: Well, what the hell? I hope there's a script chart around here some place.
Tork: <puts down his capuccino and peeks under his chair> Aw, I thought I was sitting something. Here it is.
<All look over Tork's shoulder.>
Rimmi: <outloud> Cherry - Death of character <in the corner Warren says, "Lucky me... my script is- uh- rose!">, Cyan - guest star, Beige - Producer copy, Canary - original copy, and lilac - ....
Mickey: <smirking> Rewrite! Says it right there. Lilac is rewrite.
Rimmi: <moves her thumb and smirks> ....rewrite as long as Rimmi agrees since she has a nice ass.
Mickey: <frowns> So Warren gets to live?
Rimmi: Yep! No skinning. <Warren does a happy dance>
#2186
[PM] See? What did I tell you?
Date: 05/17/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<No_Plot Advancement! (Bwoop Bwoop!)>>>
[Rimmi] Tell me what?
[PM] That that "nice ass" clause in the contract would come in handy!
[Rimmi] I never said it wouldn't!
[PM] Really? Umm... never mind!
[Rimmi] You were just using that as an excuse to talk about my ass, weren't you?
[PM says something almost inaudible.]
[Rimmi] What was that?
[PM, flatly.] Yes. Are you happy? Yes.
[Rimmi smirks.] Why yes, I *am* happy. Thanks for asking!
TmPM
What can I say? I'm bored,
but can't think of a new plot arc
that wouldn't conflict with Mickey's!
Sarcophagus!
#2187
Lita: What? We can't skin Warren?
Date: 05/17/2002
From: Carmelita9000
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Rimmi: No.
Lita: But I don't like Warren! I hate Warren!!! And I hate his ass face!!!!
Rimmi: Lita--
Lita: I want Warren to get skinned!
Rimmi: I said no, and that's that!
Lita: Can't we compromise?
Rimmi: Compromise?!
Lita: Yeah! Like maybe we can just skin half of him! Like maybe his left side would look normal, but then his right side would be all deformed and skinless and gross!!
Warren: I don't think I like that plan...
Rimmi: Lita, you're really sick, you know that?
Lita: What?
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Pleh on Warren!!
#2188
Hey! Party in my trailer!
Date: 05/17/2002
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
<<Downtime Mode>>
Since everyone is afraid to post and not wreck Mickey's story, let's have a cast party in my trailer. We'll take a little break from our characters, let our hair down, poin and laugh at Mickey while he's working and the rest of us aren't.
<Rimmi proceeds to mingle with Nabut>
Rimmi: So, I heard your agent called you for a breath mint commercial. Good for you!
#2189
13 soup kitchens later...
Date: 05/17/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
..............................
STG: Geez, we've tried thirteen soup kitchens, and we've found nothing! The only thing that happened was me being bit by hobos twice!
AFLAC: I told you not to take their soup.
STG: Shut up!
Squecky: Well, it was pretty funny.
STG: Whatever. I'm bored of looking for Mickey! We're done! We're going to sit at this bench, and not move until Mickey walks by us. Now that's my idea of searching of someone.
Squecky: Wow, now that's a whole new level of laziness.
STG: I know, thank you.
AFLAC: Can you hold my eyes open for me? I want to set a laziness record too.
STG wuz here
#2190
Give me that script!
Date: 05/17/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Rimmi: One minute, ServoTheLoad, I'm reading it.
STG: (snatches it away) Not anymore! Neener neener!!!
Rimmi: Grrr...
STG: Lets see here... hmmmm... I'm flipping ahead a bit, and I really don't think we need this scene were I'm devoured by ferrets, or this scene were the Macho Man throws me off the Taj Mah Hall.
Mickey: Fine, fine, fine. We'll take it out. (muttering) Big loser baby.
STG: Thank you. Now, Lita, get me Mountain Dew.
Lita: Um, okay...
STG: Then throw it out, and get me a soda! I hate mountain dew!
(Rimmi still mad about having the script stolen, lurks behind STG and cuts him in half with her sword)
STG: Aaaaaaaah, my legs! Lita, get my legs!
Lita: No--
STG: Then throw them out, and get them for me again!
STG wuz here
#2191
OK, *sigh* Fine.
Date: 05/17/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
I try................
I try to put together entertaining stories, I try to make everyone happy with fun songs that have deep meaningful lyrics, but NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Tears up the script)
Mickey: I killed off Sunshine, I killed off Marvin, I "killed" off Warren....and you all have to crap on my ideas. I thought I was equal in this.
Rimmi: Shutup, or I'll cut you in half!
Mickey: Your sword isn't real! It's cardboard!!!!!!!!!! None of this is real!!!!!
Rimmi: Well, geez, you don't have to be a jerk about it!
Lita: Calm down Mickey. It's ok. Rimmi didn't mean anything by it.
Rimmi: Yeah, I did, actually.
Lita: The poin is, you should just relax. Have a bowl of soup. You'll be fine.
Mickey: *sniff* You really mean it?
Lita: Sure! Maybe....
Rimmi: HA!!! You tore up your stupidy stupid script anyway!
Mickey: It just so happens I have another one right here.
Rimmi: Grrrr....
MTG, etc.
#2192
Chill Mickey. We like the whole plot
Date: 05/17/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
thingy. We're just fooling around. I just wish somethig would happen so we could start participating though...
#2193
<In Rimmi's trailor>
Date: 05/18/2002
From: Carmelita9000
*giggle* Rimmi lives in a trailor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
<Warren runs up to Rimmi and hides behind her>
Warren: Rimmi! She's a psycho! She's crazy!
Rimmi: So are you. I'm trying to mingle with Nabut. Go away.
Warren: But... She's scaring me!
Rimmi: Who are you talking about?
Warren: Lita! She hates me just because I like to use mind control on women so I can rape and murder them! She wants to skin me! I know it!
Rimmi: Now, that's just silly! Lita's very nice once you get to know her. I'm sure it's all in your head.
Warren: Look! She's doing it again!
<Warren poins in Lita's direction. Lita's looking at Warren, looking down at a vegetable peeler she's holding, and then back at Warren again, and smiling. When she sees Rimmi's looking, she hides the peeler in her purse, and starts to... uh... "mingle" with Evil Mike.>
Rimmi: Oh, Warren! She's just smooching her dumb boyfriend like she always does! I told you it was all in your head! Now shut up and go away so I can talk to Nabut!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
See? I can participate no matter what Mickey says!
We're just kidding you, Mickey. You go ahead and post your plotline the way you were planning. I plan to party in Rimmi's trailor until you're ready! It sounds like fun!
#2194
I don't *live* in the trailor!
Date: 05/18/2002
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
We are on the set of TFtD. This is my movie trailor. You mean *you* don't have one? How sad for you. Where do you hang out while TFtD is being the filmed, the hallway?
Rimmi: <looks at Warren and Lita oddly> Gosh, you two really get into *your* character don't you.
Warren: What do you mean?
Rimmi: You're an actor playing Warren. She's a nutcase who thinks you are Warren. Look at that! She thinks that guy playing Evil Mike is really Evil Mike because she's kissing the hell out of him. I don't know if it's cute that he's playing along with her insanity or-
Warren: That may be true, and she's still trying to skin me.
Rimmi: Be a grown man and sort this out yourself. I know you can.
Warren: Oh gee, thanks.
Rimmi
*who does not live in a trailor*
*who thinks Lita has smelly feet*
#2195
<Lita sticks her tongue out at Rimmi>
Date: 05/18/2002
From: Carmelita9000
..............................................................
I know what kind of trailor you were talking about. I was kidding. And I'll kiss Evil Mike as much as I darn well please, so there!
<Lita flagrantly kisses Evil Mike right in front of Rimmi!>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
does not have stinky feet
#2196
<putzing around the TARS>
Date: 05/18/2002
From: wurwolf
(That's Traveling Antiques Roadshow Show)
Schmoe: Well that was a ******* waste of time.
Cow: I've never been so humooiliated in all mooy life.
wulfie: Quit yer complaining. I happen to think $3.75 is a lot of two inches of ceramic.
Schmoe: Yeah well, we would've gotten a whole lot more if this damn thing had talked.
wulfie: No sense crying over spilled milk. Get it?! Because he's a cow.... and there's milk.... funny, huh?
Cow: Shut up.
wulfie: Well, I have one other thing we need to check out. I swiped this from PM's headquarters. <pulls a lamp out of her Badzt Maru backpack> Looks like it might be worth something, don't you think?
Schmoe: Yeah. Right. Looks like another piece of crap to me. Why the hell does a lamp have headphones anyway?
wulfie: I dunno, but it belonged to PM. You should have seen his headquarters -- this was the most normal thing in there.
Schmoe: And just what were you doing there? You better not be trying to pick anyone up.
wulfie: Oh please. I'm not into Egyptians. I was trying to get a job. At least *one* of us has to work. *sniff*
Schmoe: Might as well be you! Monday's comic book day, so I can't go out and look for work. And you know what, if we get a decent amount of money for that lampy-headphoney-thingy, neither one of us will have to work for at least another month!
wulfie: Oh yeah! Good thinking, hon! //thumb
<Schmoe and wurwolf get in the appraisal line again. They wait for two hours and fifteen minutes. They finally get to the front of the line, but the show is in commercial break.>
Announcer: Oh, it's you two again. Listen, we've run out of the ten-second delay, so if you curse you're going to have to leave. Understand?
Schmoe: Whatever, motherf*****.
Announcer: See, this is what I mean. You two will have to leave now.
wulfie <holding up the lamp>: But I brought this lampy-headphoney-thingy!
Announcer: Whoa.... I've never seen anything like that before. It looks..... well.... not antique... more *ancient*.
<Schmoe and wurwolf look at each other with raised eyebrows.>
Schmoe <whispering>: *Jackpot!*
Camera dude: And we're back in three.... two.... one..... <poins>
Announcer: Welcome back to the Antiques Traveling Roadshow Show. We're joined again by wurwolf and Schmoe. And what do you have for us this time? <looks at them, smiling nervously>
wulfie: Well, this lampy-headphoney-thingy has been in my family for generations. My great-grandmother used it to read by, and my grandpa did his homework by it, too. <ignores Schmoe, who is looking at her oddly> Its sentimental value is priceless. *sniff* Hon, do you have a hanky?
<Schmoe rolls his eyes.>
Schmoe: Go find your own snotrag. <to the announcer> So what's this piece of **** worth?
Announcer <whispering harshly>: I told you that if you cursed again you'd get thrown out. It's only because this is an exceptional antique that we don't have you dragged out of here! <turns to the camera> Let's have our resident antique expert, Bob King, give us an appraisal. What do you think, Bob?
Bob: Well..... I've never actually seen a piece like this before.... only *read* about it..... but it looks like an Egyptian mind-reading device.
<Everyone gasps, including Schmoe and wurwolf!>
wulfie: HOLY ****!!! Mind-reading?! No way!
Bob: Yes, it was said that if one could read the mind of another, then that person could rule the world. Certain phaorahohaoahos used to keep such devices in their chambers, and upon their death were buried with them blah blah blah.....
<A half hour later....>
Announcer: So how much would you say such a piece is worth, Bob?
Bob: Oh my, it's priceless. This isn't an antique, it's an artifact. I'd even venture to say that it wasn't in this woman's family for generations. I'm guessing she stole it from a museum or something.
wulfie: Welp, gotta run!
Schmoe <waves into the camera>: See you later, motherf******!
<Schmoe and wurwolf make a mad dash for the door! Cow is in her Badzt Maru backpack, bouncing around and hoping he doesn't break.>
Cow: Watch it, you nimoorods! You two are worse than that moooron, Lita.
Schmoe: Come on, hon, run faster! Here, I'll carry the mind-reading device, you just run!
wulfie: There's the car! Let's go!
<Schmoe and wurwolf hop in the car and speed off!>
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#2197
OT: What do the characters look like?
Date: 05/18/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
I guess mine looks like me. Always wearing one of my STORM T-shirts(the New Jersey Indoor Lacrosse Team), my green cargo pants, and my white sneakers.
I think grandmapa would look like a old man wearing a granny dress and a wig.
I have a little trouble picturing Rimmi. The Judas part in here name makes it kinda sound middle eastern. So I guess she wears a Jedi robe or something. A woman dressed in Obiwan's clothes.
Mickey just looks like Mickey from Screaming Skull. Though I don't think he's quite as psychotic.
I was reading ToyFare, and they had a picture of this female WWF wrestler named Lita and a toy they were making of her, so I just think Carmelita9000 as looking like that.
I think of Tork as a wind up robot. Cause he's named after a robot.
And wurwolf and schmoe look like a normal couple who can't leave each other alone.
And Evil Mike looks like Mike Nelson, except he has big eyebrows that are in the mad V shape.
Hmm... I think I'm forgetting someone...
Whattya think, sirs?
#2198
Guess what, STG...
Date: 05/18/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
We've answered that question before. :o)
I even mentioned it in the summary. Glad you were paying attention. ;o)
"Suddenly, TIME OUT!!! Rimmi wants to know what everybody looks like. The rpers take the time to describe their rp characters.
(http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1009)
PM: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1010)
Lita: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1012)
Cave Rimmer: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1013)
Mrs. Mo, Nabut, Rick, Sam, Buffalo, Nick: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1015)
grandmapa: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1017) and (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1018)
Mickey: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1019)
Tork: (http://bboard.scifi.com/bboard/browse.cgi/1/5/247/30633/1020)
Tork is dissapoined by Lita's and Rimmi's looks."
But I'll tell you again. :o)
First of all, I do *not* look like that skanky WWF Lita, and neither does my Lita character, and neither do her clones! Lita is 5'10". She has long blonde hair, and blue eyes. She has no tattoos.
Evil Mike is the alternate dimension Mike from 611: Last of the Wild Horses. If you haven't seen that, he looks just like regular Mike. Especially since Lita would most certainly have made him shave off that horrible facial hair by now. Here's a page with some pics:
http://www.mst3uk.com/611horses.htm
Seems like I saw better pictures of Evil Mike somewhere, but I don't remember where.
Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow is a two inch tall ceramic cow.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
was impressed by STG's accurate description of grampy
#2199
Hey, I read the summary...
Date: 05/18/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
***************************
Or I kinda skimmed it over on the busride to the set of Tales from the Duh...
#2200
<Lita and EM leave Rimmi's trailor>
Date: 05/18/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
Lita: Heck with Rimmi and her stinky trailor! She should open a window in there and air it out once in a while! Anyway, I gotta go rescue my poor little defenseless cow from the evil clutches of wurwolf and Schmoe! He must be so scared!!11!
***
Cow: Ahhhh.... This is the life! I'moo a mooillion mooiles away fromoo that damoon daft bitch, Lita! Ahhhh!!11! I love this!!!
***
EM: But Lita! We don't even know where the cow is!
Lita: I don't care! We'll find him!
<Lita pulls out her Spidey whistle. Evil Mike covers his ears as Lita calls Spidey. Moments later, Spidey pulls up. Lita and Evil Mike get inside and drive away.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2201
STG dies?
Date: 05/18/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(still sitting on the bench)
AFLAC: I wonder what a moon rock would taste like?
Squecky: How about we chech some more soup kitchens.
STG: No, no, NO! I sait we're gonna wait here, and that's what we're gonna do!
(two hours later...)
Squecky: Zzzz...
AFLAC: (really bored, then spots something) Ooh, a wheat penny's in the street!
STG: Zzz... *snort* Hmm... WHAT!? WHEAT PENNY! IT'S MINE GET AWAY FROM IT!
(jumps into the middle of the road, and picks it up)
STG: MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
*beep* *beep*
STG: The hell? Is there a goose behind me?
(turns around and sees a big truck heeading for him)
STG: HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
*SPLAT*
AFLAC: Maybe I should have warned him about that truck. Nah.
(STG opens his eyes, and sees his body on the ground)
Ghost ServoTheGreat: Aah, I'm dead!
(suddenly from behind)
St. Peter: Yeah, that's kinda weird. You're not supposed to be dead yet.
G STG: Huh?
St. Peter: Yup, your not supposed to die for a while. That whole truck thing took me off guard. Whelp I can't take you to the after life yet. You'll have to find a way back into your body.
G STG: Can't I just jump back into it, like in cartoons?
St. Peter: Nope. You gotta find STATUE OF ANGEL TORGO. It is an item that can only be seen and touched by the spirits of the dead. You must hold it while you jump back into your body, or you can't.
G STG: Where is it?
St. Peter: I don't know. But you better find it quickly. Ahem...(points to STG's body)
G STG: Eh?
(AFLAC is spray painting it, and Squecky it trying trying to stop him, but AFLAC just slaps her away with his wings.)
G STG: Grr... I'm gonna turn him into stew for that!
St. Peter: Well, you gotta get the statue first!
G STG: I'm goin'! (runs in any random direction looking for the statue)
STG wuz here
#2202
Sunday: You WHAT???
Date: 05/19/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 2 Chapter 1...................
PM: Sedated you for a while. You'll be fine.
Sunday: I'll saw off your head you son of a bitch!
PM: And that explains why you're still in the cage.
Writer's Block: What would the world's greatest criminal mastermind want with us bush leaguers?
Marvin (Whispers to Sunday): Suck up
Sunday: I'll bush league you!!!
PM: Again, the cage.
Sunday: Grrrrrr.......
PM: Well, GROPE is occupied right now, and not just because of Mickey. I had one of my undercover agents kidnap the cow.
Betsy: That cute little guy?
Marvin: I hope you're talking about the cow.
Betsy: Of course.
Marvin: Oh good.
PM: With GROPE out of our hair, we can go on a crime spree that'll bring the city to it's knees!
Sunday: Oooooh! (Raises hand) Question?!
PM: Yes, Sunday?
Sunday: Why are you such a son of a bitch?
(PM groans)
Sunday: You know, just curious
Marvin: Actually, I do have a question. All this for a crime spree?
Nick: That's not a question.
Marvin: What?
Nick: It's a statement asked as a question
PM: Um, Nick? Why don't you check on Rick and the Angels. Make sure they don't leave that van.
Sam: I bet ol' Rick is enjoying his additional
(Nick glares at Sam)
Sam: ...drinks also. (Nick leaves) Heh...turkey.
PM: You've got a problem with that, Marvin, who need I remind you, should be dead?
Marvin: It's just I was hoping for something bigger.
PM: That's where Dr. Connery comes in. He's goiing too...Ooooh, look at the time. We should get started.
(Sam and Buffalo load Sunday into the PMS Big Rig...heh, that name's never been more appropriate...and the rest of the vile group gets in and takes off)
Meanwhile....
Nick: Hey, wait, where are you all going? Get back here!!!!! (Runs after them)
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Oh, is my plehhy computer going to let me post this.
#2203
South of the border!
Date: 05/19/2002
From: wurwolf
<wurwolf, Schmoe and Cow are speeding down the highway in Southern California. They're on their way to Mexico: specifically, Cancun. Wurwolf is behind the wheel of their black Volkswagen bug, and they've got Bens Folds Five "Whatever and Ever Amen" blasting. Cow is singing loudly and off-key to "Kate".>
Cow: o/˜ Every day she wears the samooe thing, I think she smoookes pot, she's everything I want, she's everything I'moo not.....! o/˜
wulfie: For a little dude he sure is loud.
Schmoe: Tell me about it. It must be distracting -- we're lucky there's no one on the road but us.
wulfie: Well, yeah.... except there's been some weird-looking car following me. It's a ways behind us but I can tell even from this distance that it's freaky as hell.
Schmoe <turning around>: I see what you mean. That is weird. I wonder what that thing sticking up from the back is. Anyway, I'm just glad we lost the cops. I'm not interested in doing time. I saw what goes on in prison, I watch Oz!! That's some creepy stuff! Eeek!
Cow: o/˜ He's charmooed everyone here except Tamooara Easter, who later revealed to himoo her innermooost secrets......! o/˜
wulfie: Alright Cow, can you just keep it down please? You're giving me a f****** headache.
Cow: Nope! For the first timooe in a long timooe I'moo enjoying mooyself! I'moo gonna keep singing!
wulfie: Hon, put him back in my backpack, please.
Cow: Okay, okay! I'll stop!
Schmoe: Hon, I see a lot of smoke coming out of the back of that car that's following us. I'll bet if you go faster you can outrun them.
wulfie: You're right, babe. Good thing we bought the turbo bug! //thumb
<Wurwolf guns the engine and speeds off, leaving the odd car far behind. They're about to cross over the Mexican border.>
Cow: I've never been to Mooexico! Anything I should know?
wulfie: Just don't drink the water.
Cow: Huh? Seriously?
Schmoe: Yup. I was there once before. I was sick for days.
Cow: Good thing I'moo a ceramooic cow.
wulfie: Yeah, I guess that's the only time in your life that comes in handy. Here's the border -- everyone got your passports?
Schmoe: Yup!
Cow: Umoo.... no.
wulfie: What?! Holy ****, that's just f****** great.
Schmoe: Hon, don't worry about it. They won't care about it going in, but he'll have a hard time getting out. We can cross that bridge when we come to it.
wulfie: I guess. Here we are.
<Wurwolf pulls up to the checkpoin and shows her and Schmoe's passports. Cow sits perfectly still -- they never realize he's anything other than a ceramic cow. They're cleared and wulfie drives off.>
wulfie: Hey, I'm getting hungry. Anyone wanna stop in Tijuana for something to eat?
Schmoe: Sounds good to me. There's a place.... looks kinda rough actually, but those places always have good food.
wulfie: Yeah.... right, hon. If you say so.
<Wurwolf pulls up and they all get out. Cow hangs out of a pocket in her Badzt Maru backpack. They walk into the restaurant..... something's not right....>
wulfie: Sure is dark in here.... smells funny.
Cow: Does anyone else notice that the walls are mooade out of mooodeling clay....?
<Schmoe and wurwolf stand still while their eyes adjust to the dark.>
wulfie: Motherf****** hell, do you guys realize where we are?! This isn't a restaurant at all!
PM <walking out of the shadows>: Wurwolf..... right on time. I knew I could count on you to bring the Cow to me.
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#2204
G STG possesses Evil Mike!
Date: 05/19/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(After searching several places STG tries GROPE headquarters for THE STATUE OF ANGEL TORGO)
G STG:(while looking around) Hey, there's that jerk, Evil Mike! I hate that guy!
(Whats this!? The ghost form of Abe on a Big Wheel appears!)
Abe: Hey, Servo. Planning pety childish revenge?
STG: Yes.
Abe: Well, try possessing him. Though you can't go back into your own body without the statue, you can possess other people for short periods of time. Neat, huh?
STG: Really?
Abe: Hey, I don't lie. (leaves with audience applauding him)
STG: Heh, heh, heh! (jumps into EM)
EM: (under STG control) Hi, I'm a doodoo brain.
Lita: Huh?
EM: Lita,you're a poopface!
Rimmi: Hey, that's not nice!
EM: You stink like cheese!
(STG makes EM punch gramps)
EM: Eat my obnoxious fists! Now I will beat myself. (STG makes EM beat himself up)
(STG leaves EM's body)
G STG: Ah, revenge. (keeps walking, not paying attention, and walks into a ghost table corner)
G STG: YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOoOCh!
STG wuz here...
and is writing pretty well, for someone who broke his clavical(sp?) today.
#2205
Oh, the incontinuity!!
Date: 05/20/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
STG, Evil Mike and I aren't even at GROPE Headquarters. In fact, I'm pretty sure nobody is. We're certainly not all together. Evil Mike and I are in Spidey. Alone. And I'm pretty sure Abe on a Big Wheel isn't a ghost.
You know. Just saying.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Pleh! There's a reply I want to do involving STG,
But I don't have time to write it this morning!
>:oŞ
(It's my own fault though.
Should have done it yesterday when I had the chance.)
PS: OUCH!! You repair that clavical! (Isn't that a type of organ?)
#2206
<Dr. Rimmi Mode>
Date: 05/20/2002
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
Why yes! The clavical is an organ that connects to the flopdoodle and makes the iglomerate all raphlomga when it's cold and yayeegah when it's hot! It's a very important part of the anatomy and once broken it is hard to repair. I hope you found a good triugulia specialist to adjust that system properly or you will have problems for the rest of your life.
#2207
Sillies!
Date: 05/20/2002
From: wurwolf
The clavicle connects your shoulders to your chest (I think). It's the bone that horizontally crosses your upper chest, right under your neck.
Ouch, STG. That sucks! Hope you feel better soon! :o)
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#2208
[Sam] So, any of you turkeys know...
Date: 05/20/2002
From: Big_Rig_of_PM
<<<PMS Big Rig Mode>>>
...where we're going?
[Buffalo] Yeah, Lazy Rahder! We're goin' ta th' crahme spree!
[Sunday] I'm sure he knows that, you simpering hayseed! But where the hell *is* this crime spree taking place?
[Sam] I'm not sure, little lady. Ol' Buffalo's my navigator, so I didn't pay any attention to that jazz.
[Buffalo] Ah thought th' big feller here knew whare we waz headed!
[Marvin] Nobody told me anything about it!
[Sunday laughs.] He's ditching you.
[All but Sunday] WHAT?!?
[Sunday] He's ditching you losers! He doesn't want you around for whatever he's really doing!
[Sam] No way! Big Daddy wouldn't ditch us! That wouldn't be mellow! [He turns the Rig around and drives back to MSTBlanca. Or rather, where it used to be...] Dammit! He *did* ditch us!
[Buffalo] Ah thought he wuz our friend!
[Marvin] But why would he want to bail out on us like that?
[Sunday gets out of the cage and closes it behind herself.] Probably because he knew this cage wouldn't hold me for long. [She grins wickedly.]
[Sam] Oh sh--
[The Rig starts careening wildly on the road, and the sounds of a fight can be heard from within it.]
------------------------------------------------------------
[Meanwhile, at MSTBlanca's new location...]
[PM, as he walks out of the shadows.] Wurwolf... right on time. I knew I could count on you to bring the Cow to me.
[Wurwolf] Pflafhrahohra, you bastard! [She makes a quick motion, but is stopped when Nabut steps out of the shadows. With a look of resignation, she continues.] What do you want from us?
[Cow] Apparently, he wanted you to bring mooe to himoo. Which you'd know if you were paying mooore attention, you moooron.
[Schmoe] Shut up, you freak of nature! You can't talk to her like that! You're starting to be Fredo to me! Hmmmph!
[PM] No, he's right. About the bringing him here thing, not the moron thing.
[Schmoe] I don't care! I'm still pissed that we won't be getting our Mexican food!
[PM] Schmoe, my good man. We can get all the food you want... after we talk business.
[Wurwolf] I'll tell you right now that I'm not giving up this cow! I've grown fond of him!
[Cow] And strange as it mooay seemoo, I'd rather hang out with these two than with that daft Lita womooan.
[PM, in that oily Master Criminal way of speaking.] Easy now, no one has to give anything up... necessarily. You see, it's not so much important to me that I possess the cow [Cow: "Hey! I'moo still here, imoobecile!"], I only care that it stays out of Lita's hands. Call it a bit of counter-revenge, if you will. I'd be willing to leave the cow with you, if you were to ally yourself with me. What do you say?
[Schmoe] Then can we eat?
[PM] Sure! Why not?
[Schmoe] I say go for it, hon!
[Wurwolf] Shush, I'm thinking about it!
TmPM
Oooh! Plot advancy!
Sarcophagus!
#2209
Buffalo: Ah'm scared!
Date: 05/20/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 2 Chapter 2...............
Your a bownte hunter, do sumthing.
Marvin: I can't, I wasn't hired for that. I'm bound by a bounty hunter code.
Sam: This is no time for going all Moral of the Story, turkey! She's going to kill us!
(Sunday revs up her chainsaw)
Buffalo: Oh no......I love ya, Sam!!!
Sam: Um, sure..that.
************************************************************
Nick: Wow! I knew it could happen, but I've never seen it vanish right before my ey....Ugh, I am so sick of watching this van!
Trish: It's been like this for hours.
Nick: Does it really take this much time to have drinks?
Trish: Drinks? You idiot....
Nick: So that's not what they're doing?! I KNEW IT!!!!!
(Runs into the van screaming)
Trish: Oh boy...
Nick: THIS IS FOR LISA....huh?
(The Angels are all lying drunk and passed out in various corners of the van. Empty glasses and drink mixing cups are all over the place.)
Rick: You girls make me sick! I'm only one man!
Nick: Rick?
Rick: Nick, my arms hurt....Bartender carpal tunnel.
Nick: I didn't know.
Trish: I thought they were having the s-e-x word.
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn club
Post Narc x3
...
#2210
<mulls over PM's offer>
Date: 05/20/2002
From: wurwolf
<think think think, thinkity think think.....>
wulfie: So you're saying that if we become allies I can keep the cow. Are you being serious or are you putting me on?
PM: When have I ever lied to you before?
wulfie: Well, there was that time when you promised me and Schmoe $3000 for getting the squirrels out of your attic, and the other time when you said you'd pay us $1500 for mowing your lawn, and the other time when you said we'd get $500 for taking your car to the station for a tune-up, and then you.....
PM: Come now, you don't really think I was going to pay you $500 just to run an errand for me.
Schmoe: *sniff* We were hoping.....
PM: Well, too bad. I do, however, mean what I say. You *will* get to keep Cow, that's a promise.
wulfie: What happens if we don't become your allies?
PM: I take you all down to the basement and wall you in ala Edgar Allen Poe.
Schmoe <whispering>: Hon, do the ally thing.
wulfie <whispering>: I know, hon, don't worry. <to PM> Okey doke, PM, we'll be your allies. But Cow stays with us.
PM: Deal.
wulfie: Hey, I was wondering, last time I was in MSTBlanca it wasn't it Tijuana. What's up wit dat?
PM: This is our Mexican branch. We have branches all over the world.
wulfie: I had no idea MSTBlanca was a chain. How do you get around? Your truck?
Cow: He can't drive a truck across the ocean, moooron.
wulfie: Well then, maybe he *flies* a *plane*. You shush, or I'll give you back to Lita.
Cow: Shutting up.
PM: Actually, I have a teleportation device. I can go to any MSTBlanca anywhere in the world with it.
Schmoe: You've got to be kidding me. That's so f****** lame! Every science fiction writer trots out the teleportation and time travel when they need to explain a hole in the plot.
PM: Talk to your chick about it, she's the one who's writing this crap.
wulfie: Hey! HMMPH!
Schmoe: But how did you know we were headed to Mexico?
PM: There's a tracking device in the lampy-headphoney-thingy you stole from me.
Schmoe: Tracking device?! More lame plot filler!
wulfie: *gulp* <laughs nervously> Stole? Hahahaha, I would *never* steal anything from you, Pfaharhaohah. I just *borrowed* it so Schmoe could see it. He's fascinated with that stuff.
Schmoe: No, I'm not. You know I think that s*** is stupid. <wurwolf steps on his toe> Ow!
wulfie: I left you a note, Pfhahafoah. You didn't see it? I distinctly remember leaving you a note saying that I was borrowing your lampy-headphoney-thingy and that I would be bringing it right back in an hour. Maybe the note fell on the floor or behind a table or something.
PM <narrows eyes>: Did the note also say you were taking it on the Traveling Antiques Roadshow Show?
wulfie: Oh, uh..... <more nervous laughter> Say, I'm getting really hungry! Did you say you had some Mexican food?
PM: Yes, I did. How about you sit down, and we'll discuss the terms of our arrangement. Nabut! Bring out the enchiladas!
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
#2211
Alright, alright, I'll correct it.
Date: 05/20/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
First, of all, EM punched gramps by using his rocket powered fist launcher.
He insulted Rimmi over the phone.
And Old Abe can be seem by the dead or alive... I think, cause he is dead, right?
That's the best I can correct it, without rewriting it. So, there.
And wulfie is right. The clavicalthingy is the bone between the neck and the shoulder. Now, I kinda feel bad about bringing it up, cause it's kinda like something a certain BBoarder-who's-name-will-not-be-mentioned would do.
D'oh!
#2212
Cruising along in Spidey
Date: 05/21/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Lita: I don't care! That behavior was simply unacceptable, Evil Mike! "Didn't do it on purpose" indeed...
EM: Ok, so I was rude to your little friends. Like that's a big deal!
Lita: You called me a poopface, you jerk!11!!!1!!11!
EM: I'm evil!
Lita: Evil Mike, that's no excuse! You're just gonna have to learn to-- Oh, dear lord!! What the hell is that??
EM: What the hell is what?
Lita: <poins> That! Right there! In the middle of the road! It's... It's Servo The Great! And I think he's been hit by a car!!1!!
EM: Cool!!1
<Lita pulls Spidey over and runs over to STG's body. AFLAC and Squecky are nowhere to be seen. They must have run away when the going got tough.>
Lita: I... I think he's dead!
EM: This day just keeps getting better and better!
Lita: Evil Mike!
EM: What?
Lita: Help me get him out of the street.
<They pull STG's body out of the street to keep it from being run over again. Lita calls the police. Within a couple of minutes, a car pulls up. Two people get out, one an average looking older guy, the other an attractive young woman.>
Lita: The cops! Finally! And hey! It's not Sheriff Alan Hale!
Guy: Oh, we're not cops. <with a dramatic flash of the eyes> We're scientists! I'm Grissom. This is my associate, Sarah Sidle. We're from the Las Vegas CSI!
Lita: Wow! We're in Las Vegas? How did that happen?
EM: I wish I'd known where we were sooner! Wow, I gotta go get me a hook--
Lita: MIKE!!11!!!
EM: You didn't let me finish! I want to get a hook for my fishing pole! You know how I love to fish!11!
<Lita knows Evil Mike hates to fish, but she says nothing.>
Grissom: Yes, well, this is all very nice. <He poins to STG> Is that the body?
Lita: Yeah. I think he was hit by a car.
Grissom: I'll be the judge of that. <He puts on rubber gloves. He looks at STG with his tiny flashlight> Bruises... Broken shins... Broken clavicle...
Sarah: <Also putting on rubber gloves> All these injuries indicate that he was hit by some sort of speeding vehicle. Judging from the height of the injuries on his shin, I'd say it was some sort of truck.
Grissom: Look over there! <he pulls out his tweezers and runs out into the road. He picks something up with the tweezers.> A wheat penny! He must have tried to pick it up when he got hit! <He bags it>
Sarah: Then how did his body get way over here? <She glares at Lita and Evil Mike> Did you two move the body?
Lita: It was in the middle of traffic! We were trying to keep it from being hit more!
Grissom: That's tampering with evidence! That's against the law!
Evil Mike: Good thing you two are just scientists then, and not cops.
Sarah: We can still arrest your law-breaking asses!
Lita: Damn!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Oh, how I love CSI!!!11!!
#2213
Grissom: Woah! Check this out!!11!!
Date: 05/21/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
Sarah: What?
Grissom: It's an unbelievable specimen! A great find for an Entomologist like me! "Arachnidus Biggassicus!!"
Lita: Oh, you mean Spidey?
<Grissom's shining his tiny flashlight right into Spidey's eyes. Spidey drools a little.>
Grissom: You named it Spidey?
Lita: That's his name.
Grissom: It's not his scientific name. Did I mention I'm a scientist? And an Entomologist? That's why I know this stuff.
Evil Mike: Yeah, Lita. You have to call stuff by their fancy scientisty names.
Lita: Then I guess I should call you "Snuggleupicus!"
EM: Oh, come on! Don't be dumb! That didn't even make any sense! Besides, if you watched your children's programming, you'd know it's "Snuffuluf--
<Evil Mike is interrupted by Lita smooching him. Sarah looks disgusted.>
Sarah: Stop that! You'll taint the DNA evidence!!
Lita: Mfhat phenna-- <She pulls away> What DNA evidence?
Sarah: We have to compare your DNA to the DNA on the body to see if you were involv--
EM: <suddenly jealous> Lita's DNA had better not be anywhere near STG's body!
Lita: Oh, come on! Like that would happen! STG is what? 12 years old?
STG: <Sits up> Hey!!11! I'm way older than that!
Lita: STG, you're ruining it! Shut up and lie back down! You're supposed to be dead!
STG: Oh, yeah! <He lies back down, and goes back to being dead>
Sarah: You seem pretty nonchalant about the death of STG... Wasn't he your friend?
Lita: Yeah, well, death isn't really any big deal, you know. I've died twice, and I'm ok.
Grissom: Twice?
Lita: Ok. Fine. One and a half times, if you want to be picky.
Sarah: You're obviously mentally ill.
Lita: Am not!
Grissom: I think I know what happened.
<Sarah puts up a screen, and a projector, and sets up the reel. Grissom narrates. The scene on the screen is Lita and Evil Mike inside Spidey>
***
Lita: <Holding a bottle of booze in one hand, and slapping Evil Mike with the other> Yoouuuu worthlessshhh piessshhh of sssssslimmme.... I h-h-hate you!11!!
EM: <crying> I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!! Stop hitting me! You're so mean when you're drunk!
Grissom's Voice: Lita was so drunk she didn't know where she was going. She crashed into STG, causing massive damage to his internal organs.
<There is a graphic shot of all STG's internal organs being liquefied by the force of impact.>
***
Lita: Oh, yuck!
EM: Wow! How did you do that? Is there any more?
Grissom: Of course! Because what really killed STG was this!!!
***
<There is another grisly scene of STG rolling up over the top of Spidey's head, and then blood flies everywhere as STG's face goes right through Spidey's windshield. Everything is depicted in horrific detail.>
***
Lita: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!11!111!11!11!!
EM: WOW!!1!!!1!! Do you have another copy of that film? Can I have it???
<Sarah starts to put the projector and the film away.>
Lita: But we didn't hit STG! Look at him! He's not that messed up! You can tell he didn't go through a windshield! And even if he did, Spidey's windshield isn't broken!
Sarah: Hey, you're right! And look at this! <Sarah picks something up off STG's body.> It's a paint chip! It must be from whatever hit him!
Grissom: Hey, I can tell just by looking at that paint chip that it's a kind only used on big rigs! And according to this database of paint colors that I keep with me at all times, this color is only used on one truck in the world--
Lita: Hey! That's the same color as the PMS Big Rig!
<Dramatic music plays>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2214
G STG: GET AWAY FROM THAT!!!
Date: 05/21/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(returns to where his body was, and sees EM, Lita, Sarah, and Grissom around it.)
G STG: Leave that alone! It's mine... actually it's me!
(They don't listen to him, cause DUH! he's a ghost)
Sarah: I only see one course of action. We must disect it into little pieces, and then grind the pieces into fine powder. Then after several chemical tests, we can determine who did it.
G STG: NO! MY BODY!!! I NEED THAT!!!
(G STG grabs his body by the leg, and starts to drag it away, everyone freezes as the body seems to be leaving the scene)
Sarah: Stupid body! You're tampering with the crime scene! Stay where you are! (grabs STG's body by the head)
G STG: Give it back!
(Sarah and Ghost ServoTheGreat are having a tug of war with his body)
Lita: (watching Sarah tug at a body being tugged at by the other end by what appears to be nothing) Well, that's bizzare.
EM: Geez, why would anyone want to fight over Servo The Loser?
Grissom: I think I know what's going on. You see the electrons in the air are more charged than usual. That usually means that there is a ghost in the area. Now I'll use my Ghost Detector/Zapper to find it.
(pulls out a little computer screen with two electric prongs at the end. The screen shows STG like it was one of those heat sensors, but doesn't pick up anything living.)
Grissom: THERE HE IS! ZAP HIM! (thunder bolt shoots out of the device, and hits STG)
G STG: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! You asked for it!
(STG possesses Grissom, and makes him beat himself over the head with his own device for 15 minutes. STG cannot possess him any longer and leaves his body. Grissom's device is broken, and he has many large lumps on his head.)
Grissom: Astounding. I've been possessed and beaten by a ghost. Make note of that, Sarah.
Sarah: I didn't know we were paranormal investigators.
Grissom: You're right, we aren't. Screw it. No one would care anyway.
(While everyone is talking STG drags his body away and stuffs it in a tree, along with some acorns a squirrell put there previously)
G STG: Now that my body is safe, I can find that stupid statue. But it's taking too long!
(Old Abe on a Big Wheel comes on stage, with much applause)
Abe: Hey, STG, what up, bitch!?
G STG: Hey, Abe. Where can I find the STATUE OF ANGEL TORGO?
Abe: I guess I'll have to tell you. You're too stupid to find it on your own. Mickey has it in his pocket. He doesn't know that though, because the statue can only be seen, smelled, tasted, touched, and heard by the dead spirits.
G STG: Heard? Tasted?
Abe: The statue emits the sound of Torgo's theme loudly. And it also has the taste of bacon.
G STG: Mmmmm... Bacon...
Abe: HEY!!! Find the damn statue!!! Everyone's getting tired of your lame ghost plot!
G STG: Oh sorry. But where is Mickey?
Abe: That I don't know. But you can find him faster if you took my big wheel.
G STG: WHAT!? I can take *your* big wheel!?
Abe: Yup. (Abe gets off the Big Wheel)
G STG: YEEHA!
Abe: Twist the handle bar for flight mode.
(STG rides off on a flying big wheel. Truely the strangest thing ever seen.)
STG wuz here
#2215
[On the way to getting enchilladas...]
Date: 05/23/2002
From: Nabut
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
[...Nabut encounters a shadowy figure.]
[Shadowy Figure] So, Senor Nabut. You thought you could escapes the desert fox, the Mexican manhunter. Don't you know no one escape from the clutches of... [The figure steps into the light.] ...EL SCORCHO!!!
[Nabut gasps.] El Scorcho! But I thought I left you trapped in--
[El Scorcho] The pit of the rattlesnakes? It take more than leetle snakes to stop El Scorcho. Now, amigo, I takes you to justice, to avenge my brother. Unless, you want we do this the hard way?
[Nabut] I'm not letting you capture me, bounty hunter.
[El Scorcho] Good. I was hoping you would say that. Now, we duel to the death! Ah, the joys of the honorable duel! Two men of honor facing off to engage in the mortal combat like cavallieros! The thrill of--
[Nabut] Hold it. There's one thing you're failing to take into account.
[El Scorcho, confused.] What is that, amigo?
[Nabut] I never *was* an honorable villain.
[El Scorcho] Que?
[Nabut] HUP! [He kicks El Scorcho in the groin.]
[El Scorcho] OH!!! My tender loin!!! [He collapses and faints from the pain.]
[Nabut snickers.] Sucker. [He continues on his way to get the Mexican food.]
Nabut Al'Nathoth
#2216
Rimmi: Please shutup.
Date: 05/23/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 2 Chapter 3..................
Tork: Are we there yet?
Rimmi: For the millionth time, no. I don't even know where I'm going.
Tork: But Gramps' smells, and his stories are terrible. Do something!!!!!11!!!!!!!
Gramps: Oh, you're just jealous you whippersnapper! Why I remember good old Teddy Roosevelt, wishing he smelled like me. Now he was jealous! Anyway it was 1579, when Teddy and I discovered the Panama Canal...or was it a Panama Hat?....
Rimmi: GAH!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!
Tork: See what I mean?
Rimmi: No! I can't steer!
Tork: Oh, that *is* bad.
(Crash)
(Rimmi crawls out of the car wreck)
Rimmi: Is everyone ok?
Tork: I think so, just maybe a couple bruises, nothing life threatening though.
Gramps: I think that crash knocked my hip back in place.
Rimmi: Yeah, well, what happened?
Gramps: Don't ask me! You were the one driving like a madwoman!
(Rimmi glares at Grampy)
Grampy: You madwoman.
Rimmi: I lost control of the car!
Gramps: Well, stuff like that doesn't just happen!
Rimmi: Of course it doesn't! Something made me lose control. But what?
A (seemingly) homeless man lying on a near by park bench: Because you're getting to close.
Rimmi: Who invited you? Butt in again, and I introduce you to the poiny end of the sword.
ASHMLOANBPB: Look, you want to know where Mickey is or not?
Tork: Actually, it doesn't bother me that much, (Rimmi shoves her sword in Tork's face)...but..but it would be nice.
ASHMLOANBPB: Dr. Connery kidnapped him. I used to work for Dr. Connery. *sniff* Hiyo. He said we'd be together forever! *sniff*
Rimmi: All this because Mickey had a doctor's appoinment?! Geez, that ass-
McMahon: There's more *sniff*. Dr. Connery is an expert in hypnosis and brainwashing. If he's not stopped, *sniff* Mickey will be convinced that GROPE must be destroyed.
Rimmi: That still doesn't explain my car.
McMahon: Are you even listening to me? Mickey? Your friend? Hell-o!!!111!!!!
Rimmi: Yeah, yeah, got all that. What about my car, you sniveling, grovelling henchworm?
McMahon: Maybe 5 dollars will refresh my memory.
Rimmi: (whistles and poins to her sword)
McMahon: Or a hot meal?! Come on, I'm dying out here!
Rimmi: The car!
McMahon: Fine! Dr. Connery had a magnet placed under the street, just in case you showed up to try and stop him.
Rimmi: But what about anyone else who passed by on this str..(Looks at the side of the road where 40 or so overturned cars are sitting)...Oh.
Tork: Well, we can get there by foot! Heh, looks like Mr. Smartypants Doctor didn't think about that!
Gramps: No we can't.
McMahon: He wants you to find him.
Rimmi: Then what was the poin of the magnet?
McMahon: It's all part of his plans and....
Rimmi: (In a mocking voice) It's all part of his plans and...
McMahon: Hey...stop that.
Rimmi: C'mon, guys, let's go.
Gramps: Walking? No!!!!!!!
McMahon: Can I come?
Rimmi: No.
Tork: He knows where it is, Rimmi, we probably should...
Rimmi: And you probably should learn to shut the hell up Robot Boy! Do I tell you how to do your job?
Tork: Geez, I'm just trying to help.
Rimmi: Hey, I just got an idea. This worm might know where Mickey is. We should take him with us!
Tork: Oh for...
Rimmi: (Politly gives Tork a close up look at her sword)
Tork: Oh yeah, well I bet you're not so big without your sword!
Rimmi: Let's go.
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Geez, what crawled up Rimmi's butt?
#2217
G STG: The hell!? Old Abe, AGAIN!
Date: 05/25/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Old Abe: That's right, STG. I've returned one more time.
G STG: But why?
Old Abe: Because I have this...(reaches into pocket, and pulls of the STATUE OF ANGEL TORGO. The statue is humming the TORGO theme)
G STG: Hey, thanks alot.
Old Abe: Whatever, I got tired of you walking around pickin' your ass.
G STG: HEY! I was gonna find it.
Old Abe: No you wouldn't have. I also have this... (pulls STG's body out of his other pocket.)
G STG: Hey, my body!
Old Abe; Yup, Now get into it.
G STG: Wait, I have to ask you something. If the STATUE was in Mickey's pocket, and you got it. Then where is Mickey.
Old Abe: He's right here. (poins it out on a map)
G STG: Oh, okay.
(STG gets back into his body)
Old Abe: And I'll take *THIS*. (grabs the big wheel)
STG: Awwww... Well, at least I'm alive. See ya, Abey.
Old Abe: Wait! You'll need help. I've assembled a posse for you. Rowsdower, Mitchell, Geronimo, Ryder, and Space Chief.
(they all pull up in Rowsdowers truck, soem are in the cab, and some are in the bed of the truck)
Rowsdower: Hurry up, kid! We've got the ammo and the beer. Now it's time for some drunk, violent, mob, justice!
Space Chief: I want wasabi.
Mitchell: Shut up.
(STG jumps in the, and truck begins to drive away)
STG: Wait! Where's AFLAC and Squecky!
Old Abe: Huh? Geez, I dunno. Find 'em yourself. I need a drink and smoke.
STG wuz here
#2218
The Adventures of GROPE!
Date: 05/26/2002
From: Tork_110
Or, I've lost track of the main plot, so here's something off continuity to fill space
(Ep 1 - GROPE goes to the beach)
Lita: Whoo hoo! The beach!
Rimmi: Time for some fun in the sun.
EM: I'm going to the beach and spend the time with...umm, Lita.
<Rimmi and Lita start to argue over who looks better in a bikini. Rimmi, naturally, brags about her ass. EM would pay attention, but he's looking elsewhere. >
Cave Rimmer: I'm going to hunt the birds that prey on people here.
Mickey: They're called seagulls.
<Cave Rimmer is already gone.>
Mickey: So...Hey Lita6969, do you want me to win you something?
<Mickey poins at a large dog doll. Lita6969 poins elsewhere and whispers into Mickey's ear. Mickey smiles and the two run off.>
<Meanwhile, Tork is at an arcade. He is swearing at a pinball machine.>
Tork: Blah!! I hate it when the pinball goes straight down the center.
grandmapa: These new-fangled pinball machines...
Tork: Gah! Where did you come from?
grandmapa: ...are for wimps. In my day, you had to earn poins. Nowadays, you get 5 million poins for inserting your dime.
Tork: Quarter, gramps. It takes quarters.
grandmapa: What?! That reminds me of another long and uninteresting story...
Tork: Look, gramps. Here's a *quarter*. Go play Ms. Pac-Man.
grandmapa: That hussy? *sigh*, ok. Where?
Tork: I don't know, but all arcades seem to have that game.*
<Tork leaves the arcade.>
Tork: I think I'll try to win a prize. I'm really good at winning them. Yup, ring toss, claw machines, ball toss - the poor dopes fear my prize-winning talents.
Woman with a tight stomach who looks good in a bikini and would never talk to the real life Tork #1: The robot guy is talking to himself.
WwtswlgbwntrlT #2: Just don't make eye contact.
<Tork walks into the Funland. 1 hour and twenty dollars later.>
Tork: BLAH!! All your games are fixed. Nobody can win.
<Predictably enough, everyone BUT Tork has won a prize. Some shirtless guys are offering dolls to Rimmi. A LOT of guys are offering them to Lita6969. EM is pounding a guy who offered one to Lita. grandmapa is carrying a large crab doll.>
grandmapa: My back!! Could someone help me?
<Tork sullenly looks at the ground, until suddenly, from a claw machine...>
???: *SNEEZE*!!!!
Tork: Huh?
<Tork looks in the claw machine. Guess who's there.>
LKF, the cow: Hello, you mooiserble loser.
Tork: How did you get in there?
LKF: The hell if I know. I was trying to get a suntan, but when I woke up, I found mooyself in the claw mooachine with all these other dolls.
Tork: I'll get you out.
<Tork breaks his last five dollar bill and returns with several quarters.>
Tork: (under his breath) Frankly, you're not worth fifty cents.
LKF: Hey! I heard that.
Tork: Hold still. I think I got you...darn!
LKF: You mooissed!
Tork: I think I got you now....Hey! You moved.
LKF: *giggle*
Tork: Would you just climb out already?
LKF: Why? I'moo having to moouch fun.
Tork: Fine! I'll just leave you here.
LKF: Oh yeah? HELP!! LITA!! TORK STUFFED MOOE IN HERE!!!! I'MOO SO SCARED!!!
Tork: (whisper) Cut that out! Lita is already upset at me for the way I've acted around her clones.
WwtswlgbwntrlT #1: Ok, now he's talking to a doll. (slowly backs away from Tork)
LKF: If mooy hands weren't ceramooic hooves, I'd poin and laugh at you.
Tork: ERR!
<Tork spends several more quarters trying to catch his mooving, err, moving target. This is an alternate reality reply, so the scene doesn't need a conclusion.>
Tork_110
* I dare you to find an arcade that doesn't have Ms. Pac-Man.
#2219
Mickey: And that's how I invented pants
Date: 05/26/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 2 Chapter 4...........
Dr. Connery: Uh huh....and what do you think of GROPE?
Mickey: It depends on the person, really. Heh...get it?
(Dr. Connery is not amused)
Mickey: Little joke there, sorry.
Dr. Connery: Very little.
Mickey: Ok. GROPE is like a family to me. Especially, because *sigh* I lost my family.
Dr. Connery: Oh?
Mickey: Yes, it was a few days after I escaped. Some nutcase named Mortimer came and...
Dr. Connery: Oh yes, Mortimer...we should've warned you about him.
Mickey: The hell? You knew he was going to do that?
Dr. Connery: Well, he escaped following you....that's always a sign that wacky Mortimer's up to no good!
Mickey: Always?
Dr. Connery: Oh yeah! We're admitting him every few weeks after he escapes and hatches some nasty scheme....shame he hasn't been around in a while. He was a cut-up in group sessions!
Mickey: Well, um....I don't know what happened to him....I certainly DID NOT find him and feed him a cyanide pill because that's just crazy, and I'm not crazy!
Dr. Connery: No one's calling you crazy
Mickey: Then what's with the sign? (Poins at a sign that says "Mickey T. Gardener is crazy")
Dr. Connery: That's just my degree...you're reading it wrong.
Mickey: Now just how dumb do you think I am?
Dr. Connery: Do I have to answer that?
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
Human Volcano
Mortimer!!! You bastard!!!!
#2220
Meanwhile the drunken posse speeds to
Date: 05/26/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
hide out of Dr. Connery. As it drives down the highway, occupants of the vehicle throw everything from beer bottles to throwing human feces, and shooting bullets at passing cars.
STG: Um, guys... I think you've had enough. We're speeding at 130mph, Space Chief fell off the back of the truck, and it's obvious you're all too hammered to drive.
Rowsdower: (drunk) Ooooh, you jusssssfff know everthing, DON'T YOU!
Mitchell: (drunk and barfing off the side of the truck bed) We're just fiiiiine. Oooo, convertible! *BLAGH!*
STG: Just let me drive.
Rowsdower: Look, I don't SEe tHe problemmmmmm herrrre. We're savin' your friend, Micko, and we got the beer and the guns to do it.
Geronimo: Yeah, and GROPE is busy at the beach, so it's up to us! Pass the rack of lamb.
STG: How'd you know that?
Geronimo: Radio.
STG: Well, I *guess* you guys are right...
Rowsdower: Of course I am... I think...
STG: Well, I'm just gonna sleep in the pile of garbage in the bed.
1 hour later
Rowsdower: Troy used to sleep in the garbage all time.
Mitchell: Yeah, I really don't... um... care.
Geronimo: More beer?
(While they're chatting, truck drives right off the bridge and lands into the ocean)
Is this the end of our heros?
STG wuz here
#2221
(At the border......)
Date: 05/27/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 2 Chapter 4............
Custom Official: Please state your name and purpose of visit.
Lita: I've come to get my cow.
Custom Official: Just how stupid do you think I am?
Lita: Excuse me?
Custom Official: That's the new hip code. I'm on to you.
Evil Mike: Well, would it be better if I said we were here for illeagel fireworks?
Lita: MIKE!!!! (Nervous laugh) No one's here for illeagel fireworks.
Evil Mike: I am.
Lita: Look, I just want my cow back. Then I'll leave.
Custom Official: All right, that's it!!! Strip search!!!!
Lita: Oh crap....
Evil Mike: What are you worried about? This sounds fun!
(Several hours of nakedness later)
Custom Official: A-HA!!!! What's this?
Lita: It's an open pixie stick. Nothing illeagel about those right?
Custom Official: No, I suppose not. But it's attracting ants. And brush your teeth after one of these.
Lita: Good. Can we put our clothes back on now?
Evil Mike: Hey, I'm just getting warmed up here...
(Lita glares at Mike)
Evil Mike: I admit it was uncomfortable with Pedro here...
Custom Official: Pedro?
(Lita laughs nervously again)
Evil Mike: But, hey, he wants to watch us, that's fine with me. Just don't try anything funny.
Custom Official: Sure go ahead, get dressed.
Evil Mike: Do we have to?
Lita and Custom Official: Yes.
(Evil Mike sulks and gets dressed)
Custom Official: Anytime now....
Lita: Huh?
Custom Official: You can get dressed too.
Lita: Oh!!! (Lita goes to get dressed)
Evil Mike: Psst...Lita...After we get the fireworks, want to go to Cuba to get some cigars? (Lita elbows EM) I'll take that as a maybe.
Custom Official: Americans
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
American.
#2222
That was part 2 chapter 5 :) n/t
Date: 05/27/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Well, it was...MTG etc.
#2223
Looking for Lita's Cow
Date: 05/28/2002
From: Carmelita9000
...........................................................
<Lita and Evil Mike are driving Spidey around in Mexico, looking for Lord Kinsey Figgybottom. How does Lita know the cow is in Mexico? Who knows? How do they ever know where stuff is? But the GROPErs do have an uncanny ability to find stuff they shouldn't be able to find, and that's why Lita and Evil Mike are in Mexico. Right now they're just driving. Do you get the impression that this reply isn't going to do anything to further the plot? Because you should.>
EM: How much longer are we going to just drive around?
Lita: Until we find where wurwolf took my cow!
EM: I have a better idea. Why don't we just put Spidey on Auto, and climb into the back and--
Lita: Evil Mike, that's not gonna help us find my cow! Now get your hand off my knee!
EM: Awww, come on! Do I have to?
Lita: Ok... You don't *have* to... but...
EM: I don't see why we have to look for that stupid cow anyway. He doesn't even like you.
Lita: What are you talking about?! He loves me!
EM: But--
Lita: Evil Mike. He *loves* me. Got it?
EM: Sure. Whatever.
Lita: I know how we can pass the time, Evil Mike! Let's reminisce about the good old days! Back before all this revenge stuff disrupted our lives! Doesn't that sound fun?
EM: No. No, it doesn't.
Lita: Sure it does! Say, Evil Mike, do you remember when...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<Evil Mike and Carmelita9000 and Carmelita6969 are going shopping together. Well, the Litas are shopping. Evil Mike is mostly there because Lita9000 told him he had to come along. He's determined to have a bad time. The Litas have picked out some clothes, and now they're going to the fitting rooms to try them on.>
Lita: Now, Evil Mike. You see these chairs here outside the fitting rooms? Just sit here and wait for me.
EM: Aww...
Lita: Hold my purse.
EM: What? Pleh! I'm not holding any of your lady things!
Lita: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that--
EM: Oh! Well then I'll say it again, Pl--
<Lita kicks Evil Mike in the shin>
EM: Ow! I'll sit quietly. But I won't hold your stuff.
Lita: Fine.
<The Litas turn to the desk in the entrance to the fitting rooms. There's a little old lady standing behind the desk. She's not the sweet kind of little old lady with cookies who likes to sew. She's the mean kind of little old lady who hates everybody. As Lita9000 and Lita6969 approach her she glares at them.>
Grouchy Old Lady: *Six* items only!!
Lita: Uh... I have 8...
<The Grouchy Old Lady scowls at Lita. She knows Lita did this on purpose, just to ruin her day.>
Lita: Here, 6969. You take two.
Lita6969: Um... Ok.
<The Grouchy Old Lady gives Lita a little plastic hanger with a "6" on it, and Lita goes to find a booth to change in. 6969 starts to walk past the Grouchy Old Lady.>
Grouchy Old Lady: *SIX* items only!!!
Lita6969: Oh! I'm sorry,
Grouchy Old Lady: <she narrows her eyes at 6969> It looks like you have about twelve.
Lita6969: Well... Um... Can you hold on to some of these for a minute then? While I try on the others? <She hands the Grouchy Old Lady six of her items.> Um... Please don't punch me... <she scurries in to try clothes on>
<Time Passes... Carmelita6969 is standing outside her booth in a very shiny and very tiny pink bikini. Carmelita9000 is peeking over the top of hers so she can talk to 6969.>
Lita6969: What do you think?
Lita: Well, I think it's uh... it's...
Lita6969: Yes?
Lita: It's *small*!!
Lita6969: Thank you! Do you like it?
Lita: Um... I think it matches your personality...
Lita6969: Oh goodie!
Grouchy Old Lady: <whispering to Evil Mike> You wouldn't catch me dead in an outfit like that!
EM: Lady, if I ever caught you in an outfit like that, I'd kill you myself.
<The Grouchy Old Lady emits a low scary growl. Perhaps she's not human! Let's not think about it!>
Lita6969: <Now back in her usual clothes> How are you doing, Lita? How's that dress you're trying on?
Lita: I don't know... I think it's a bit more... revealing... than I'm used to...
Lita6969: Let's see it!
<Lita steps out of the dressing room, a little nervous.>
Lita6969: <she takes one look> HOLY COW!!11!!
Lita: Uh.... see? I told you it wrong for me. I'd better not get it. It's just too--
EM: Lita? Is that you? <Evil Mike's eyes are huge. He falls out of his chair>
Lita: I'll take it!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lita: See, Mike? Wasn't that a wonderful day?
EM: That was the most boring thing I ever heard...
Lita: It was not!
EM: I was there when it actually happened, and it was boring then too!
Lita: But--
EM: The only cool thing about that story was that dress. Why don't you ever wear it?
Lita: I am *not* wearing that thing in public! I'd get arrested!
EM: Do you still have it?
Lita: Yeah... <Lita pulls the dress out from under her seat> See?
EM: *swallows* Soooo... Lita.... Do you want to maybe... uh... put it on? For a minute?
Lita: Evil Mike, why would I want to put this thing on--
EM: You, know! I thought maybe we could...<he whispers in Lita's ear>
Lita: *giggle*
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
#2224
Commentary and a little storyline (read)
Date: 05/29/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(please?)
Well, I've realized I've been replying to this thing alot... A REAL LOT. And each reply I contribute little to the story, and make my character drift farther and farther from the rest, thusly making it harder to get involved... Also all of my little subplots, like the vampires, kidnapping, dinosaur, and dying were so quickly executed that people had little, if any chance, to participate in it. I guess I'm a little excited in getting to play the rpg or something.
So I have come to the conclusion that for one thing, I'll be replying less, cause, like, 1/4 of the page is my stupid replys. Also I think I'll have STG try to join GROPE. I mean with him running around all over the place he has little interaction with the others, and it can kinda get dull. So there. I'll get more involved, without spamming the rpg. HUZZAH!
And now my bit of storyline...
(Some kids are playing on the beach, when they look off shore and see some bubbles on the water)
Kid #1: What's that?
Kid #2: I don't know.
(The bubbles come closer to shore, until you see the Rowsdower Mobile driving out of the water.)
Rowsdower: I told you if we roled up the windows, we could drive underwater.
Mitchell: Yeah, we're not dead.
Geronimo: Always a good thing.
(STG leaves the truck looking thoroughly disappointed.)
Rowsdower: What's the problem?
STG: YOU PEOPLE ARE THE PROBLEM! We're supposed to be looking for, Mickey, and you people had to get drunk of your asses, and drive us over a bridge! I have no f*ckin' idea where we are, or were to go because the map was destroyed in the water!
Geronimo: Well, um...
STG: Look, Geronimo, Mitchell, Rowsdower, Ryder... Wait where's Ryder?
Mitchell: We left him at a rest stop I think... Oops...
STG: Whatever! You people just go home, and I'll find Mickey myself.
(STG walks away)
Rowsdower: What a jerk.
4 hours later...
STG: Where am I? Well, I'm by a highway, but where is this highway? Where does it go? WHERE AM I!!!
(As if on que, Spidey drives by)
Lita6969: Hey, is that a hobo by the road?
EM: Run it over.
Lita: Wait that's STG!
EM: Run it over.
Lita: NO! I think he's lost.
(Stops by STG, and unroles window)
Lita; Wassup, STG?
STG: THE SKY! HA HA HA HA HA!!! Get it? What's up? THE SKY!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
EM: (whispers to Lita) Just keep driving.
STG: NO! I'm lonely. I need a pack to run with. I wanna join GROPE.
Lita: (gets out of car, and is wearing THE DRESS) I have the forms to join in the trunk.
STG: (staring) Huh? Forms? Uh... okay...
Lita: Here you go... Um... You're staring. Is there something on me?
STG: What!? Um... No. (mutters) Not much...
Lita: Well, anyway here the form. (hands STG the form, which a stack of papers as tall as his torso)
(STG is just scribbling on the papers, because he is just staring at Lita)
EM: (gets out of the car, and sees STG staring) YOU! Stop starin' at my girl! (attacks STG)
STG: NO! AAAAAAAA!!! MY NECK!!! MY LEG!!! MY SKULL!!! STOP! I CAN'T HELP IT!!! IT'S THAT DRESS!!!
EM: The dress? Well, I can't blame you... BUT I CAN STILL BEAT YOU!
STG: NO--
Lita: STOP! Mike, go in the car. Servo, fill out the form.
STG: Fine. Geez, this is a lot. Can I fill this out on the car ride to wherever you're going?
EM: (staring threatingly at STG) Alright... but I'm watching you.
STG: Let's see here... So many questions... Wait, column 7 page 800, question 7,895, asks to trace back my ancestors to the stone age. Isn't this a little, um, stupid and excessive?
Lita: Shut up, and fill out the form.
STG wuz here
#2225
Night of a thousand and one Ninjas!
Date: 05/31/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Part 2 Chapter 6..................
(Jimmy and Cara catch up to Lita, Evil Mike, and STG before they get into Spidey)
Lita: Ah, crap, forgot about them......Er, that is to say, hi! Glad you could join us!
Jimmy: Well, we would have been here sooner, but once custom officials got a look at some of the stuff in Cara's suitcase...
Cara: You never know when that stuff comes in handy!
Jimmy: Isn't that Servo the Dink?
Lita: He was, but he's good now, or something.
STG: Hi.
Jimmy: I can sense my brother's presence. Over there (Poins)
STG: What's MSTBlanca doing in Mexico?
Lita: It moves around a lot. Let's go.
(A few minutes later)
Lita (And the rest of the groub burst into MSTBlanca): Hand over the Cow!!!11!!!!!!!
PM (Turns around in his chair Bond Villian style): Ah, Lita, Evil Mike, Jimmy, and um.....you other two. So nice of you to join us.
wurwolf: Do you have any cereal?
PM: Quiet! I'm busy!
wurwolf: Hmph! (Walks back to where she was)
(manosgirl walks in, throws a bunch of dishes, gets drunk, and leaves)
PM: Rude, much? Hello?
Lita: What was that all about?
PM: I have no idea...but now, you all die!!!!!! (Pushes a button on his chair)
Lita: I'm still alive, moron.
Evil Mike: Yeah, what gives? (Lita elbows Evil Mike)
Lita: He's going to kill you too.
Evil Mike: Oh.
(PM pushes the button again and again)
PM: Blah! That's the last time I buy my Villian Chair from Walmarts. Er, fortunatly, I have a backup plan! Ninjas!!!
(Lita, Evil Mike, Jimmy, Cara, and STG now find themselves face to face with many ninjas)
STG: I picked a bad time to join didn't I?
Lita: You're still not in.
STG: Oh, so I can go?
Lita: No.
************************************************************
(We now join the PMS Big Rig falling off a cliff. Buffalo and Sam are hugging eachother)
Sunday: Heh...now you'll DIE!!!!!
Marvin: You're going to die, too, bitch.
Sunday: What? MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Suddenly, the PMS Big Rig stops it's freefall. It's being held in mid-air, And, oh yeah, it's glowing green)
Betsy: Oh boy. This can't be good.
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
Post Narc x3
End part 2. YAY!!!!1!!!!!!
Next up: Some more Mickey.
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